…and, in conclusion, is the (possible) multiple heartaches simultaneously!
Who in their right and sane mind will walk into that not-sense?
Adu’h – US! The “idiots”, that didn’t choose to be wired this way.
It took half my life by far to accept this atypical heart of mine. Heck, until a few years ago, I didn’t even know it was a thing. Resulting in being unfaithful and having to chose one or the other (okay, and this one other too!) leading nowhere but failure. I don’t think I chose the wrong person, I chose the wrong path overall. To my defense, I did the best I could during those times.
I chose to be in fully-monogamous relationships instead because truth to the told, my heart is actually Ambiamorous.
It can be fully functional and happy with just one, the same as being capable of more than that one at the same time. On simple terms, Ambiamory works very similarly to me being Bisexual. Thus, I don’t personally look for another one or to have another relationship at all because, to be frank, I don’t need it to make me happy. I also don’t need to double or triple the risks of getting hurt. Polyamory, to me, doesn’t equal being as PolySEXUAL. Big difference. So is not all “fun and games”. Although that can be true to many, it is not the generality
The way I used to deal when I was trying to stay (faithful) monogamous was by literally avoiding people. That way I didn’t risk it. Yea – fun stuff! That turned ugly fast. I was suffocating by not being able to have the FREEDOM of it should the right (another) person comes along.
I no longer do that because now I walk freely my path. I discovered that for me to “stay”, I need the freedom to leave at my will. While deeper connections might happen along our journey together and we may stay together, you won’t actually be part of that because that other it is simply MINE, not yours.
It isn’t about any of the individuals not being enough but rather is not about them at all. It is about me! The heart is actually fully capable to love and lust more than one at the same time and individually. Each of them will have their own stand-alone relationship with me and that is not about filling the void or the lacks of one with another, …and another, and so on.
Overall, my heart doesn’t split places or spots either. It LOVES FULLY and in its WHOLE mighty each. It is like parallels amorous feelings that never touch.
- Please don’t shame us just because you are not wired for this and can’t comprehend our concepts. Neither of us is right or wrong. Be mindful when getting to know us. We won’t change just because we may eventually “love you” that much. That is not how any of this works. We can’t change to monogamy any more than you can’t change to polyamory. Genuine love is about mutual acceptance.
- Please don’t think that because we may have just ONE relationship at the moment on any given time, just because we are “poly” it means we are actually available to more. Don’t be a dick and pursue without considering where we are at that moment.
What say you?
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