After the break-up for good with former fiancé, I had the bright idea to look for a special someone.
I confess, however, that I took strolls at the shore of Vanilla Sea just to see what might be available if I venture out of my pathetic and stubborn decision to stay frozen where I was. Having been in a dead relationship for many years, I was down for whatever with just anyone.
So I thought!
There I was, all settled nicely on a very comfy spot at the shore. Trying to get whatever with no real definition of what I actually wanted to catch. I meet very interesting characters in this phase. From the narcissist who loves bomb me from the moment we meet to the one thinking that because we are both single, we have to fuck each other at his convenience. I got to give it an A for the effort to the latter. He intensifies his tries after he realized I was a “kinky girl” and what he could get out of it. Geez!
Yea, that will get me going running towards him in a snap. SMH. Anyway, I also meet a younger character who reaffirmed my policy of not get involved with younger men. He chases me, tries to romances me, then when I really didn’t comply with his wants, he turns around and calls me all sorts of names. “Dude! You just prove my point.” I found all this type of character very amusing, really. But I wasn’t looking for amusement. I was just making the best of it. That didn’t work. But, what was I looking for?
Then I venture out on a fishing boat trying to define what I was looking for. I had a plan at hand carefully crafted after even paying for a “love coach”. Yes, I hire a man to tell me how can I get and keep a man. Good material that helped me define what I was looking for at the moment, but still,…UGH! It takes two to tango, anyway. According to me, I also had the right equipment and tools. No need to go into detail the type of guys I meet on the high sea. Let’s just say, that did not work either.
Now, what the fuck what? Nothing! Go back to the drawing board and revise it.
I am bad at love.
What can I do differently to get then different results? Then, there I was in the middle of my biggest Aha moment ever! Yea…yea, do as the coach said but there is a very important piece of data I never volunteer to him. I am crazy kinky as fuck. What IF…WHAT IF, instead of fishing on Vanilla Sea, I just go fish in Madness Sea. Might work, I thought. After all, I am insane and kinky. Heck, even very much single and free by now.
I’ve had my fair share of casual and closet kink relationships before. However, even those I found by chance in Vanilla Sea or was with the vanilla partner where it was me adding the sprinkles. Never before I had the chance to get into a community by myself. Tried that too then. That still didn’t work because I was living in a very small town in which even the kink community know me and the former.
Besides, no prospects either. I moved out of that area and I am now with many options at my disposal but guess what?
I just quit fishing altogether!
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