Original post date: Dec.17.2019
What a year!
Not sure yet if I kicked its ass or it kicked my ass but for certain, I feel that I’ve accomplished my New Year’s Resolution theme of having “Courage”.
Phew! What the heck that was?
It was a year full of laughs, tears, emotions, feelings, hopes, disappointments, surprises, frustrations, new relationships came and gone, older relationships became stronger and stayed, and a bunch of other countless things happened.
For sure, it had a hell of a lot of learning! Although there are a few more days to expiry, I believe I have had enough of this learning shit already for the year. Ugh! Hopefully, I get my wish.
It was just another year of my life. I strongly believe that there is no good life or a bad life, there is just that, LIFE. I should be grateful, I know, and I am to an extent but bitter bitchy witchy me can’t help but to see the glass half empty at times.
If you are close enough to me, you probably already heard me claiming to be this year’s Grinch. While I won’t go and poop on anyone’s parade, it is my general feeling this “Joyful Holiday Season”.
It is a mix of nostalgia and longing for a time that is not the here and now.
- Tried running away many times from BDSM, FEMDOM, FETISHES, KINK and all, but alas, I am beautifully broken beyond any repair. So fuck me and my FEMDOM fetish. It is MY twisted deviant happy and it is Home.
- Still envy those who can genuinely switch, …I am stuck being an all-around Dammed Dominant. Whatever.
Kink Shout Outs
004 – T: As much that I still would want to “kill you” for abandoning me last Summer, at the worst possible moment, as much that I love you for humbly, slowly coming back around, keep it on and proving yourself better already. That kind of man, the one that can rise above himself, I admire! DAMMIT, too bad you are not into me as much as I am into you, but,…go on and keep on going no matter what, my Sexy Iced Beast. I can (try to) love you from afar and you will always hold a special place in my heart. You got this living crap!
- 003 – T: …and, bud, you really knocked it out of the ballpark with the last one but I doubt you can even remember any of it or accurately. Not certain if we’ll be around 2020 as we were before but for sure I know, you don’t care. No reason for me to keep on caring at the expense of my own well being. “Cheers!”
- 201 – Y: Cachorro, there are solutions for those with a scattered head. Add alarm/reminders to that dammed phone you carry around to start setting a routine. I told you this! I was into you to an extent but I can’t tolerate certain things regardless. Not sure which part of “I am strict” was so hard to understand?!
- 005 – T: Not cool that you move, …out of the darned country but I am glad that you moved on to newer things. I will always remember for all that there is you and was us. Thank you for coming back to ease me. I am aware you likely spent months in self-torture prior to your return. Pleasing, though. I wish you best, my fav emotional masochist. You will always be welcomed back.
- 010 – Q: Man! That was slam-dunked disrespectful. Not to mention the lack of trust that I thought we already have built up. Coming from you it surprised me, but I meant it when I’ve said, “…and, btw, we are done!” It was that bad – you are not excused. You do not get chances because simply I don’t feel like it and won’t serve me. Thanks for the good time : ) but, good luck, doc!
While I’ll hold dearly 2019 close in my heart for all the things that brought me and took away, I still will yell to it at the top of my lungs:
“LOVE YOU, …BUT,…FUCK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH for your service, you asshole from hell and I am very glad you are about to DIE. DIE!”
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