As I fast approach my second anniversary of formally restarting my “BDSM” journey, I can’t help but look back once again.
This time is about all of those whom I have had the mutual interest to build something together or I had connected in this regard.
Nope! Don’t recall an instance that I’ve approached a man directly or have initiated in this context. Never had a need for it. Not even when I first started many moons ago.
They all have come to me or has been an organic mutual interest. I don’t think I’ll ever have the specific need to initiate, but perhaps in the future, I may have the want and interest. I know that with the right person, I wouldn’t hold back.
While this time I started off by keeping written records, I gave up my efforts to even just keep a mental count. Impossible to keep up with my own self. These connections have been anywhere from amusing, pleasant, creepy…others a shame we didn’t work out to the rest that is just downright,…er… Hell to the heck NO! JUST NO!
The common denominator is that they have been memorable and educational because if I take my time to examine my memories closer, I am capable to recall each of them, even if I didn’t found a personal value on the individual.
There have been a few with whom I ended up with a friendly/friend vibe but I just don’t have the time or personal interest to maintain such connections. This is on me, not them. I do what I reasonably can if they reach out, however.
Shortlist and blend of those that come to immediate mind but not in order of importance.
- The fantasy-land ones
He keeps leading the conversation back to offer or talk about specific sexual or erotic “services” that every lady is supposedly into such as rimming, cunnilingus, feminization, feet worship, and strap-on or impact play. Fill the blanks here, folks!
- The inconsiderate-ungrateful ones
He endlessly “can’t wait” to X in-person but barely can keep his own word to meet. Usually, forget all about it and leave the lady waiting. Worst! Never take any genuine personal responsibility or accountability for his own actions. Doesn’t value other’s time, efforts or even feelings. Tries to make it a habit to come back with excuses, sweet talk, and may even resource to play the blame-game.
- The controlling ones
He coys the lady into believing he is acting on her best interest by calling it “anticipatory service” or by acting as if selflessly while carefully selecting his wording and moves. His shallow efforts of coming across as pleasant and make things to my comforts are not welcome. He tries to shape her into his idea of the perfect FemDom in a subtle way. “Easy does it”, he probably thinks. Although he may or not be aware he has one, I can smell his hidden agenda miles away. Unfortunately, not always from the start.
- The giver ones
He is a natural provider and not necessarily just financially. He is a humble loaner at fault, blushes often and doesn’t equal his value worth to what he has in his bank account, pocket or in the resources he has. Not necessarily possess high intelligence but rather he has street smarts. Social status, many friendships, and other mundane things don’t attract him personally. They can make me smile just by handing me a wildflower. It is always a pleasing experience even if we are short-lived. (Dammit!)
- The charming ones
He is always well-groomed and dressed at all times possible and apologizes when he is not at his own standards. Highly educated with a brilliant mind that practices old-fashion manners and other etiquettes. Usually, the all-around gentleman that will have a hard time cursing or being a dude or a guy. It is always a pleasant experience even if we are short-lived. (More Dammit!)
- The insecure ones
He wants it, try it, achieve it, then, start running around freaking out like a headless chicken because of his own fears, expectations, and other life experiences. This is neutral to me because he is not neccesarily someone new or not being someone genuine submissive and is also making a real effort to please me specifically despite X. They have been given the benefit of the doubt. Usually, it is a highly intelligent person who is naturally attracted to any of the flavors of female dominance and most especially out of the bedroom.
Looking forward to the new learning experiences in the years to come,…but on my terms,…always!
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