A Mistress Downside

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Although I no longer get excited about anyone anymore, I still invest my effort, time, emotions, feelings, and in some cases even money. Thus, each time a prospect or even when a candidate doesn’t materialize, it takes me a day or two to process what just happened and to get over it.

Similar happens when things simply come to an end, especially when is abruptly and unexpectedly. It just sends me a tad off-balance.

Furthermore, I’ve been blessed to have met a handful of wonderful weirdos online and offline by far. Some have come to stay and others are long gone but for the most part, I am just grateful to have had the opportunity. With each, I learn something new about myself and life in general.

As part of my self-acceptance campaign, embracing my kinks and other personal issues for good it has also brought a new set of challenges. I am not only knocking, entering, and dealing with the dark rooms full of the unknown in my mind, but I am also doing the same with other individuals. It is scary at a times to learn about the needs and fears I didn’t know existed.

Even though I wouldn’t have it any other way it is an exhausting journey indeed. I am currently in the process to come to terms with the fact that is not about the destination but making the best of the long journey deeper into the life that chooses me.

Every so often I have to stop for a break to readjust, recharge, or lick my wounds; I bruise easily.

Time waits for no one, however. The road seems to be going on forever and any given day I will no longer be capable to continue but my spirit will go on a different journey instead.

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